Saturday, March 24, 2012
"And renew a right spirit within me"
It's finally Saturday! It's been a long week. It was also a rough week. I'm trying to put it all behind me and focus on packing (mostly my winter things) and enjoy the nature on campus. It really sucks that despite the beauty of life and friendships, all I want to do is turn the lights off and sleep. I don't want to be like this because I know life is so short. Time slips away so fast and I try to savor each moment that God has given me. There aren't too many people who understand what I mean-I didn't even really know the pain until it met me. Satan can drag me down so fast, and I waste my life on meaningless tears. Embarrassed to tell the world about my struggles, and my scars, I keep myself away. A few wise mentors encouraged me to stay in the word of God and to knock the devil down. Scripture has been such a comfort to me in the past few days, when I feel like there's no way out. But MY help comes from the Lord. Who else do I need? :)
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You wrote, "all I want to do is turn the lights off and sleep." I know that feeling so well! Keep plodding along, but when the right people pop up, talk about what you are facing and feeling. Or go looking for the right people. I am startled over and over by how much it helps me to talk to other women about whatever I am going through. I rarely could do so when I had that "turn off the lights and sleep" feeling, because of various circumstances. But when I did, it helped. Now when I share things with the women in my life, my response after our talk is often, "Wow, I feel so NORMAL!" No one has your exact same situation or struggles, but everything you have experienced, some other person has experienced as well. Details and timing are different, but the pain and the evil that caused it are similar. There's nothing new under the sun. But you surely don't feel like that when you're going through it!!! And Satan wants you to feel like that. I believe so strongly that God created us to be social beings, and to live in community. It's hard to achieve, though!! I'm sorry you felt down when you wrote this, and I hope you are feeling more upbeat. You can call me and tell me all about it if you want! I'm very available every afternoon while Kylie is asleep (1ish to 5ish). I'm available in a distracted sort of way at all other times too. :-)
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