Baptism Service

Today I was able to witness my "little sister" being baptized. It was truly and remarkably beautiful.

Murder, we have

No sane person  would actually admit to committing murder. Of course not! It's inhumane, it's illegal, and it's downright ugly. But I want to talk about a different kind of murder. When we sin, we murder. We murder ourselves with lies that we aren't good enough for God to love. We murder each other with our words, our actions, and our greed. We even murder our bodies into starvation, exhaustion, impatience, and thought. So my question is- how do we stop murder and start living?

I am blessed!!!

I am blessed by too many things to count. Fun nights out (like B-Dubs with old and new friends) long chats with friends, being able to give, being complimented by a 6 year old, free stuff!, laughter.    :)

Wow, God, You are an Incredible Creator!

Today in my developmental psychology class we were learning about conception and growth of a newborn. The whole process is fascinating. If god doesn't exist, how can he take something so small and make it so complex and fragile, but to grow strong and unique in such short time? Our fingerprints, our heartbeats, our sex can be detected so early. Even hours after conception, cells divide. Hours! Not days or weeks or months. I got to thinking about how much I favor pro-life. I think about all the people who support abortion and the so called "morning after pill"and it breaks me apart. How can anyone disturb something so alive? How can anyone call the creation of new life a mistake?-like throwing out a batch of bad cookies. Someday when I get to Heaven, I'll get to see those millions of faces. But for now, I wish I could see them alive and changing the world.

First Day Flutters and Changing of Seasons

Well, the first day of my junior year in college is almost over. I'm sitting here wanting to get up and pace again but I shall refrain. See, my life is seemingly simpler this time around. My classes are interesting, my townhouse is great, and I'm being told I'm not so shy anymore. I'm tired though. I can't go to sleep because I have a hall meeting at 9:30. It's like my day doesn't end, but I'm not angry about it like I would've been in the past. Today, nothing has worked in my favor. My door key wouldn't work, the whole campus is sold out of day planners, and I had to watch a depressing movie in class. Yet, I have peace that I would never be able to obtain on my own. Last year on this day I started crying and didn't stop. I keep telling myself that despite bad events of the past, I can start new. I will be okay, and I will have peace no matter what because my God is faithful.

I don't like falling off my high horse...

August has not been a good month for me. Period. At all. On the 7th I had all 4 wisdom teeth taken out and that started the worst week of pain and sickness I've ever felt. (And as I write this I still have the stitches in the back of my mouth that have not fallen out yet. Then I went back to work ready to start new, but I just kept getting myself into conflict. It's not that I meant to cause drama, but it seems to be following me. I'm trying to humble myself from being "oh so perfect" but it hurts a lot. I'm counting down the days until I can be back at school and start new there, working hard in school and having a great year (as opposed to the last two which didn't go so well academically, physically or mentally) I have a lot of big decisions to make soon.
What this summer has taught me:
I am right
I am wrong
I should be more social
I should be less sensitive
Be careful what you ask God for

I asked God for wisdom to be influential. I wanted to be great, like Mordecai, Esther, Solomon and David.  All I got was the black sheep title. But tis life, right?

A Great Day

My day was just wonderful. One of those rare days were so many things happen yet you never notice and just soak up the moments. Today was my day off work (I am only off Sundays) My Dad had to work so we missed church and slept in. (8:30 for me, it was just lovely!) I watched some Olympics and cut some coupons while my Mom made waffles. She left for the store and brought home chicken and mac and cheese. Then I went with my cousins Lindsay and Esther to Gabe's and got some clothes for super cheap! We went to L&E's church for a Hymn Sing and it was fantastic-God was so there! We even went over usual time, just singing. Then we took the singing outside and included hotdogs and smores while my Uncle Scott played his guitar around the fire. Once it started getting dark, Lindsay and I watched 4 Weddings on Hulu until I went home and played Sims 2 (which I am proud to say that my neighborhood has the complete Duggar and Kardashian families.) :P Today was just awesome. I was going to blog about the Olympics, but I will save that for a future post, and leave you with this. Reach for God in your life all the time in simple ways and He will be known to you :) Night!

Things I Hate the Most/ Living in the moment

Things I hate the most:

Smoking-it's disgusting, pollutes the air and kills people even if they don't smoke themselves

Not recycling-We've found a way to take better care of our earth, so why not do it?

Laziness- Who doesn't get satisfaction from earning money? Why make it harder on everyone else? Get off your hind end!

A dirty vehicle- they need  to make hand vacs more convenient

selfishness- we all live together, we all work together and for each other

Okay, so now that the rant is over. Here's what's been on my mind this summer. 

 Living in the Moment

A lot of times I tell myself how miserable of a life I have. The government makes it incredibly difficult for me to go to school, pay bills, and earn money to go to school and get a "good job". I'm sure most twenty-somethings my age feel the same way. I wish there was a better way. I wish I could be older, smarter, and more independent. I could have my own place, choose my own furnishings, and do whatever I want. (Okay that's a slight stretch for me, but for the rest of my generation it remains true) As Switchfoot likes to say

"I have no generation, show me my motivation"

But it's absolutely true in all cases. We have EVERYTHING we need, nothing we want, and we still want more. Our time as young adults is seen as nothing important. Our lives are pretty pathetic. But this fourth of July I really started thinking. Independence day isn't only about our freedom to live in the United States. We have been blessed to even be born here. To go to school, to live in a house, to walk down the street in sunglasses and jeans. Our brothers aren't sent to war at age 11. We think puberty is the hardest part about growing up, but we are ignorant to remember that in our world, girls are sold into prostitution and married at 7 years old. We can go into a mall and see dozens of items, for us to choose. We don't have to make shoes, shirts, or jewelry. we just shell out money and take them home, and demand more. 

It's hard seeing our nation grieve. I can't imagine how I would feel if I wasn't a Christian and knew these cruelties. I try to be content living at home during the summer, working for slightly above minimum wage in the heat everyday. I am trying to be content being single, in college, and in debt. I always think about the future and what God wants me to do with my life. Right now, it's a question mark, but it's not a period. Let's start living life with commas and exclamation marks. 

My Sister took these!!!

My sister Amelia took these photos. They are just GORGEOUS and very professional. I'm so proud, I def think she should turn it into something :)

A Treasure in a Hidden Place

Today showed me a great release of prayer and conversation between us-just me and my God. It was amazing! For Him I cry without sadness, I kneel without judgement, and I read without distraction. I've heard so many songs that describe my spiritual life right now, that I can't start to list because there's so many. Well, I came across this old Bible in the hall chapel. The cover was worn around the edges. The date: 1989. But the pages. Like new, but with so many markings. It was beautiful beyond words. Such a treasure was placed in a public area, and I found such joy absorbing it all.

Today ended awesome

So...biggest news!

First

My cousin is engaged and I'm so happy and excited for the two of them. They're love for each other and love for God is so amazing it shows brightly. I am so happy for them :)

Second

My friend Jeremy got a new job! Praising God for keeping him protected financially for the few weeks in between where he was job less. 

Third

There are nice guys in the world who aren't jerks and who are actually kind (and funny I might add)

Fourth

I got an A+ on my economics paper. I think I'm dreaming because I was really struggling in this class and haven't seen an A (let alone an A+) on a paper for awhile. 

Fifth

My Aunt and her family are so nice and such a blessing to me. She has a room prepared for me at her house while I do my observation at the elementary school next month. She's also a terrific listener, role model, and laughing friend. 

Sixth (You can tell these are getting out of order because I'm just so happy right now!)

I have awesome friends who create chalk pictures on the sidewalk with me. Like this one 

Seven

My aunt cut my hair for me. Isn't is cute? I love it! 

Beauty of life

Just a simple night

Colors of His Love

3/29/12 God, You are so amazing. The love You give me, I am so blessed. I complain so much about my life, but God, You show me the little things in life that really matter. Today, I heard a girl laugh over a roll of tape that had fallen over. I got invited by a girl I've never met before to have my nails painted 3 different colors. Thank-You God for the carefree time I could share with this little girl, and for her willingness to let me into her life so simply. Thank-You God for the color in my heart, and on my nails. And when she asked me, "Who takes care of you?" You showed me the real answer. Thank-you for baby smiles, and little children worshiping. For the games of catch with the older kids, for the love of a sister to her baby brother, and for the love of a mentor.

UGH!

Okay, rant. Why are people so self-centered? I'm so tired of hearing about how everyone HAS to have the latest iphone, the best mac, the most expensive clothes. Life is not about material things and it ticks me off so much! There are people who would kill to have a pair of sneakers or a piece of bread and they complain about typing into a phone. REALLY? I actually heard someone say that they would sponsor a Compassion International Child if they didn't love shoes. Is a child's life and salvation worth less than a few pairs of shoes? I'm actually glad that I grew up going without "the latest". My parents taught me how to value money-how to save and how to give. I would rather spend my whole life wishing for things I'll never have than have everything and wish for more. khjfkdkjwefkh,djsfhiwkrhjieuwahrjfuwirhdniauekfhiw3urhjfrieughfkl4jt3ewd. Yeah, take that all you  fake rich people.

Love is a purpose

I'm sitting here (barely) at my desk, trying to concentrate on homework or bible reading or something but I just can't! I've been reading Kisses from Katie and it is the most amazing book! The first chapter talks about Katie's pre-Uganda days. On her sixteenth birthday, she told her family she wanted to take a trip oversees and do missions work. They did not respond well at all. Why would someone who has a completely secure future want to give it all up and risk disease, violence, and poverty? Katie saw how different her life was from the lives   of people around the world. She felt so much joy serving the children she could not ever go back to "the way things used to be". The second chapter talks about her first experiences loving on the children in Uganda. Even though she didn't have everything figured out, God was with her through everything! My favorite line Katie says, "I can't fix poverty, violence or disease. I'm just here to love."

Luke 12:48 says,"From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." 


Sometimes it's hard not to feel like I'm getting eye rolls or "Here we go again" thoughts when I obsess about my dreams. My family has heard so many times about my dreams but it's truly what I feel God is leading me to. I'm not going to drop everything and buy a one way ticket, because right now I'm preparing my heart and my head. Sometimes I try to brush off these dreams as no big deal, but how can I not share? God has given me so much and this heart is meant for loving! 

"And renew a right spirit within me"

It's finally Saturday! It's been a long week. It was also a rough week. I'm trying to put it all behind me and focus on packing (mostly my winter things) and enjoy the nature on campus. It really sucks that despite the beauty of life and friendships, all I want to do is turn the lights off and sleep. I don't want to be like this because I know life is so short. Time slips away so fast and I try to savor each moment that God has given me. There aren't too many people who understand what I mean-I didn't even really know the pain until it met me. Satan can drag me down so fast, and I waste my life on meaningless tears. Embarrassed to tell the world about my struggles, and my scars, I keep myself away. A few wise mentors encouraged me to stay in the word of God and to knock the devil down. Scripture has been such a comfort to me in the past few days, when I feel like there's no way out. But MY help comes from the Lord. Who else do I need? :)

I've got the joy

What's the difference between joy and happiness? For me, joy is having peace. Happiness is when everything goes right. Right now I can confidently say I've been joyful despite being sick, being overwhelmed, not really knowing where my life is going. A few weeks ago, I started getting really down about not really knowing where I was going with life. Add my worry habit, and you get the picture. Well, I started spending time some inner city kids and realized how much I love working with them. You can see the hurt in the eyes of many of them, and I realized that God must be putting me here to teach.  But that's not all! A lunch conversation with my favorite nursing major opened my eyes to the weak and helpless. I've always wanted to work with orphans and children around the world, but Jody told me about how many hospitals have people volunteer to hold NICU babies and love on them. I started seeing that God has given me a heart that is easily broken and that His plan for me is so much better than what I could imagine! So why should I settle for typical living? I have so much I want to do with my life, and I don't need to even worry about any of it.

Me and my buddy Tate a few years back :)

I don't belong here

The Beautiful Letdown

I don't belong here

Earth is not my home

Longing for Heaven

Being the misfit

Being myself

Being different

The Beautiful Letdown is

That I don't Belong Here

I will carry a cross and a song where I don't belong

Spring Break

Day 2 of Spring Break and I've done absolutely nothing. I'm actually very bored. I went to the library today and got some books I really wanted to read, but somehow none of them seem interesting. I waited almost a year to get a copy of Karen Kingsbury's Learning from the Bailey Flanigan series, and I was dissapointed. I think I just want a book to be solely based on the Blake family.  I got Kisses from Katie on my Nook. It's so good and I've only read 3 pages! I love how Katie shows compassion and love for the girls in Uganda. I hope that someday I can be the kind of person who shows love to children despite the fears trials and hardships.

I guess I've done some stuff. My brother played several roles in Hairspray over the weekend. It was awesome!  Plus I'm a pretty proud sis-he played several parts and was really hilarious.

My aunt uncle and two cousins came over last night. Ashley wanted to play video games.(She's 8) I wanted to hold baby Savannah, but man did she cry. The poor girl has it so rough. My sister joked that I'm usually "so good with babies" but she gave me a run for my money. My mom saved the day and got her to sleep.

So I've been thinking slash dreaming (what else is there to do?) I decided if I graduate and find myself in a tiny apartment I  want a big bookshelf. I want to open a huge bookstore,and teach. And maybe someday this pain in the butt Lucy will find her Schroeder. ;)

A more serious side: Why do we as Christians not say what we mean and let things eat us up? Why can't we just say what we mean in a nice way? We aren't going to be friends with everyone. Just a thought.

I'd rather be...

Yeah so. There's like a million other things I would rather be doing than homework. I have so stinkin' much of it, and quite frankly I am ready for Spring break now-not Friday. So, I'll make this quick (maybe ;) ) I've been web searching for fun classroom ideas. Pinterest is awesome, but is getting to the point where people are posting things that have nothing to do with education. So I'll post some of my favorite resources I've found so far.

Teacher Tipster (.com and youtube)

pinterest-education

spanglerscience.com

Google: Zoom, Magic School Bus, and Richard Scarrey's Busytown

Go, Social Studies Go!

Clutterfree Classroom

Mo Willems

McGruff the Crime Dog

Btw- I love the many ideas I've seen with Angry Birds. I wish I could teach right now, but no. Homework forever. 

Singing to God

I can't do this on my own anymore.  

God I want to dream again

Take me where I've never been

I wanna go there

This time I'm not scared

Can I trust what I can't see?

I want to take control 

But I know better.

It scares me to think that I would choose

My life over You, my selfish heart divides me from You

It tears  us apart

Oh, why do I let myself let go

Of those hands that painted the stars and holds tears that fall

Will my life find me by Your side?

At the end of it all, I wanna be in Your arms.

All my right answers fail me. 

I can't seem to make it on my own.

Here I am God. I'm tired of being afraid. My life is not mine. 

I have been graced...

I got a little bored this morning, so I went onto facebook (as usual). I went to my cousin's page, and went browsing through her old notes. I'm inspired by her faith, her kind and gentle heart, and her honesty and humility to view life not as 100% happy, but as joy. I got to thinking about how special and different a relationship God has given her with her boyfriend, how she's touched my life is so many ways, and how she truly has a heart for Christ. Then I got to thinking about all the times she's kicked me into shape spiritually by being honest, all the times she's sat and listened and talked with me, and all the laughs we've had together. And then it hit me.

She's not the only one.

I'm going through my facebook page and realizing that there are innumerable people who I have been graced to know. The people who didn't give up on me, even when I gave up on myself. The people who sat and cried with me in my lowest hours. The people who prayed over me when I couldn't speak, and the people who had the guts to tell me when I was being stupid. There's also the people who I admire. The women of faith who go through heartaches and triumphs and still love people. The families that have welcome me into their homes and treated me as one of their own. The children who have faiths so strong their lives are proof! I just thank God

I have been graced.  

Superhero Attitude Song

Things to be happy for

One of my classmates gave a devotional today about celebrating the small things. She said that even if you're having a bad day, you can still have joy in your heart. She had us write down a list of things to be happy about and here is mine:

A HUGE full moon above the education building just before sunrise. 

Eating lunches with friends

Hearing God speak through messages and the Bible

Sleeping

It's not what I think!

Lately I've realized that I've been over-thinking things ways too much! I worry about my life falling apart and missing deadlines, people letting me down, changes. But guess what? People have let me down, yet they have surprised me in the same way. Every situation I stress over (and this has been happening this way for years) gets resolved no problem and I'm left going. "PHEW! That was so easy! Thanks God!" I judge people without giving them a chance to get to know them, and they turn out to have valuable lessons I really need to hear. Thank-you God for shaping my heart. Thanks for the punches, the scars, the enlargement of my heart, because although it hurts, I am being made new. :)

Superman, Organ donation, unreal thinking, Plain, Abled students, Jacob's unfairness, Love that's enough.

So begins another post with a super long title. Well my life has been a bunch of random learning and insights lately. I love being in college, I learn something new and fascinating everyday!

I just watched "Waiting for Superman", a documentary about our country's failing school systems. It will make you cry, or at least shed a few tears. Students who desperately want to achieve their dreams and are being held back by the thing that is supposed to help them. Gah! It's heart-wrenching. But you should watch it. It will open your eyes to the kids who want to succeed no matter what race, gender, or age they claim.

In economics we watched a news report about illegal organ donation around the world. A man in Israel agrees to spend his life savings to not be bed-ridden, while a woman in Moldova donates her kidney to give her children food to eat. Both people got horrific endings to their swap. The Israeli man ended up thousands of dollars poorer and back on dialysis, while the Moldovan mother experienced daily physical pain and not all of the money she was promised. You can easily say, "Well they shouldn't have participated in illegal activity" but  when two people are so desperate, they are willing to do anything.

Also relating to organ donation, a friend of my mother's had a family member who recently committed suicide. Although his death was tragic, it was reported that when his organs were donated, he helped save the lives of over 100 people. How quickly a sad story can turn into such a miracle!

"Unreal thinking". It's what I've been doing a lot of lately. I set myself up and tell myself things will happen that are half unlikely and it's just... weird.

Plain. I used to think that was me. I still do sometimes. I tell myself I'm not interesting or that I'm not pretty. But it's such a lie. I'm the most interesting person I know. God agrees with me too!

We had a guest speaker come and share with our class on Tuesday. She is an advocate for disabled students. She taught us about teaching with abled students (as she calls them) and was very amazing to hear her take on life and teaching.

When Joseph was a servant, he was treated wonderfully. He lived a just life and had everything going for him. Then a woman of royalty wanted to sleep with him and he kept rejecting her. She set him up, and he was punished for his supposed crime.

One of my favorite Switchfoot songs. "Let me know that You love me, let that be enough"

If I had one chance to speak to your heart

A New Me, Jo Pa? ,Living with Eczema, and my First Lesson Plan

This year I really feel different. Everything about my life is changing and I love it. (And I in no way intend to brag anywhere on this blog, but since it is about God and my life I will write what's been going on.) I've done so many new things this semester and I'm really proud and surprised that I actually accomplished them. I went to a dance and had a blast, I actually worked out yesterday (okay so it was required but I still pushed myself to keep going, with the help of my friend Kacey), and today I shared a piece of my testimony in front of a few hundred people in chapel. Why? Because I felt called by God to share about His goodness. Even though I write about me and my life, it's all about Him. He saved me, He allowed me to have the worst semester of my life and as a result, I am a stronger Christian. When I couldn't see Him, when I had given up on Him, He was there the whole time! God taught me not to worry, and that I can trust Him. My heart is completely changed, and words cannot express how thankful I am that He brought me through and made me different. Now I have a  story to encourage others and to remind myself that I am in good hands-HIS hands.

So, Joe Paterno, former head of Penn State Football passed away yesterday. I wish I could say I felt sorrow, but I'm not a football fan. His pictures are all over my newsfeed and it's getting a little irritating. There's controversy because of the recent scandal. Some people are glorifying him, saying he's gone to Heaven- while others are wondering if he even deserves a memorial. There's the issue of forgiveness. If everyone forgives him for keeping child sexual abuse a secret, is he still a good coach worthy of recognition? If someone is an icon and all of sudden you find out they really aren't all that they seem- that they are flawed- are they still a great icon? How can one person be great to so many people for decades and then BOOM! They are evil and need to be shunned? How can one mistake affect your whole life? (the answer is :it does).

Okay, finally I'm going to rant and complain a little here. I have a skin disorder called eczema. I don't have it as bad as others do, but as I get older it makes my life more complicated. Last night I was working out and my legs became so red they burned and I wanted to give in so much! Today my hands are cracked and bleeding and I wince because it hurts so much. A lot of people don't get it. I want the sympathy! I want people to know how much pain I'm in, and why I can't enjoy being outside like I want to be. But at the same time, I'm self-conscious. I feel ugly, I don't want people to look at me and reject me. (In fact, in high school one of the mean girls told me she thought I had punched someone in a fight and that's how my hands got so bloody.) I want to scream out to God, why me? I feel guilty for talking to people about it, especially since I KNOW there are worse things I could be suffering with.

For health class we are writing lesson plans using the state standards. I'm so nervous that I won't get it right. I spent an hour thinking and writing it, got half way through and stopped. I really hope it turns out okay! This is the start of a new beginning!!! :)

Let Your Shine Down on Me

Decisions and such things of life

UGH! I think if my head could blow up, it would've already happened a long time ago. God is working in my life daily. I think I had asked him for a challenge, and He's been giving them to me and He's not stopping. Everyday I have had to make decisions. These aren't the typical, "Do I eat salad or fries today?" decisions. These are major life changing decisions and they're showing up in every part of my life. How do I pay for school? Where should I teach at? Who do I spend extra time praying for? How do I balance school, church, friends, and most importantly, God? I'm not saying these are bad things I have to decide on, it's just that I desperately want to follow God's plan for my life and not my own.

With the new part of our church being finished soon, and a new semester starting up again, I'm looking forward to see what God has in store for  the children's ministry. I will soon be teaching preschool again and I am stoked! Last night I got to hang out with some pretty fun four and five year olds. They fed me 70 million pizzas (that they charged me $600 for), examined my throat for a live rabbit, and fed me mustard flavored ice cream. Then I barfed all over them. Mwwwwahhh. (They laughed really hard!)

I've also been reading a great deal of love stories. My One year has been taking me through Genesis. I've read about how precious wives (and finding wives) were to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. I've read about the love and respect they've had for each other, and all the flaws they encountered. In addition, I've been reading Eric and Leslie Ludy's "When God writes your love story" and it is really a great read!

So now it's back to reading history, health education, and psychology.

Dig those Fruits and Veggies!

So, it's really late and I should be sleeping, or reading. BUT! I was reading my educational health book and I got this great idea! It requires some extra financial digging on the part of the teacher, but if it works, it'll be so worth it. I was reading about how kids today don't get the proper amount of fruits and vegetables, and in class on Friday we were talking about how most kids throw away their oranges at lunch time. We also discussed how teachers now have to incorporate health and movement into their days because it's being taken away or not offered at all. Okay so here's the idea:

1) Each day offer a different vegetable or fruit. Keep it small at first, so they can try it.
2) Discuss what it's called, how to spell it, pronounce it etc.
3) Talk about where it comes from, how it grows, etc.
4) Talk about which parts of the body eating that fruit or vegetable will help to stay strong. (i.e. cantaloupe has Vitamin A and C and is good for the eyes and immune system)
5) Have the kids keep a nutrition journal, with a page for each item. Something like this:

Name of Food:

(Picture drawn and/or actual picture)

____(Name of food) helps my body to stay strong
(Picture of body, circle which parts are affected)

If the kids try it, they can get a sticker placed on the corner of each page, and at the end write about which one is their favorite.

Of course, this can all be modified depending on the grade, time, and effort of the kids. 

Friday the 13th of January, 2012

So, life has been full and busy lately. There's so much to write about and so much to be thankful for. I realized that my blog posts have been filled with a bunch of random things that have nothing to do with each other. Yeah, well you should get used to that. My life is full of random exciting interests, laughs, wisdom and everything else about life. So okay, here goes nothing.

A commercial that made me laugh really hard. 

A year full of blessings

So we're in the second week of January and I currently know 4 families that are expecting this year, and one that is adopting. Life is so precious, and to recognize that each child is a true gift from God is so important. Congratulations to all the families that will be blessed with a new child this year.

My aunt had sent me a picture of my four month old cousin. I put it on my desk, along with my aunt's card. She's so precious-her smile reminds me of new life, of happiness, and even peace. (She's a very delightful baby!)

"If I was brave I'd write a letter to the President"

After thinking about the upcoming presidential elections and hearing about education in all my classes (duh!), I listened to a Hawk Nelson song. I really feel in my heart that writing a letter to the president would be an interesting thing for me to do. I really have concerns about education, and I really want answers. I know that I probably won't get much of a response, but I want my voice to be heard and I want the problems we see in schools to be fixed. I wrote the above lyric on my facebook status and was told, "He's just like you, so you have nothing to be afraid of; be respectful but state your reasons." I really want to make sure I have every fact "right" and that it sounds professional before I send it though.

Rebash, Re-living

I decided that this year I would try to change myself in a few ways. Well, normally I'm super introverted. I hate parties with crowds of people and loud music. However, tonight my school threw a New Year's party (since we weren't around here for new year's). I had an awesome time. I danced and felt pretty and wasn't self-conscious about who was watching me dance. I felt pretty, I had fun, and I got to dance with my friends (at least until it got TOO crowded) I'm really proud that I took that extra step to do something new, and that my friends pushed me to go.

My hair courtesy of my lovely roommate :) 

A Little Bit of Everything!

Thanks Ty for making me smile :)

(Also check out him singing "Just Beyond the Clouds")

Some really awesome videos on teaching techniques from Teachertipster.com. The Bubble blowing video was posted on Third Grade Gridiron's blog.

My current "Start of the new semester" song

Heartache, Abram's gift, teaching, a day with Megan

Heartache
The first week of the new year has been a difficult one for so many people I know. Cancer, fatal accidents, spiritual warfare, sickness and tears for lost souls have been on the hearts of many. However, God is still working despite these difficulties. One friend of mine worked it out so that she could register for classes that start next week. Others have been encouraged by good friends and positive outlooks.

Abram's gift
*I really thought Genesis would be a major bore to read through, but so far it has given me a lot of thought about creation, life lessons, and love.*January 6th's passage is from Genesis 13:5-15:21. Abram and Lot and their neighbors live in a plentiful land, but there isn't enough land for everyone to live fairly and equally. The followers of both men started arguing about who should live where. Abram tells Lot to pick anywhere he wants to live-ANYWHERE!, knowing he might get the short end of the stick. Abram was willing to take the least, telling Lot that they especially shouldn;t argue because they are family. Abram moved to a piece of land where danger was everywhere. But God saw what had happened and gave rich land to Abram "as far as you can see" What a rich blessing! What are we willing to give up no matter what? Even if we don't always become rewarded, are we willing to take the shorter end for someone else's sake?

(To quote a co-worker's facebook status:)
Every sixty seconds you spend angry, upset or mad, is a full minute of happiness you'll never get back.
Teaching
I'm so excited for future teaching plans. Now that I am almost a junior, I am starting to plan the actual "going into schools" stuff. I'm really looking forward to a possible observation opportunity in May. I'm really hoping it all works out.

A Day with Megan

I got to spend time with a dear friend of mine today. We used to work together, but since we don't (she has an actual job now), I hadn't seen her in 2 years. I love that she is always smiling and has a radiant personality. Although I didn't take pictures of her and me together, she took one of us. We watched a movie and played a long game of Disney Trivial Pursuit. (I'm still not the Disney Expert I thought I was) But here is a nice picture she took of me and my cousin. :D

What awaits me...

Monday. It all starts again on Monday. I can hardly wait! A brand new semester. A new chance to try harder in school. A chance to prove to myself I can accomplish everything I set my heart to.

Maybe.

I always tell myself the same thing. "Try harder next time, Deanna. This is your chance. Meet more people. Step out of your comfort zone." Do I actually do that? 

A Little Bit.

But it's never enough. I tell myself to take giant strides, but I am never satisfied with the small steps. 

Recently...

I've been taking those small steps. I stood up for myself. I gave a professional appearance to people helping me fulfill my teaching dream. I talked to people I didn't know. 

Things I'm excited about

1. Possibly getting to observe a classroom at my "cousins" school in Indiana. 
2. Starting a new semester
3. Learning how to write lesson plans (finally!)

Things I'm nervous about

1. My Spring semester being so busy that I overwork myself and suck at everything!
2. Not passing my Praxis exam
3. Not getting into the teacher Education Program
4. Getting a terrible placement for May Term
5. Having to work the icky job again
6. Not having enough money to pay for the semester, the praxis, May term or books. 

God, I ask You for peace. I know You can work above my fears, above my struggles and above my dreams. I thank You for being loving, patient and understanding. 

Love always, Deanna