Savannah

Lists and Ramblings

Things I want to do in 2012 (or in the future)

Become certified in basic child first aid

Become a better writer

Blog as much as I did this month

Get good grades

Go to Romania

Be a better friend

Read the Bible more

Be neater with my dorm room

Find new and better music 

Get my driver's license

Get into the teacher education program

Have a boyfriend

Go to church more

Get to know some new people

Read great books

Hold babies

Get a new job

Learn new things

My newest little cousin was born this morning! Her name is Savannah. 

Usually when I hit "next blog" I find writers who are a lot older than I am, but lately it's been refreshing to see young writers like myself blogging. Life is so full and it's encouraging to hear young people talk about how they live life through Jesus. 

Saying Good-bye

The widow sits alone. She rarely leaves her home. She doesn't feel like speaking to the outside world, she is still speaking to the one she lost. Her hurt is seen in her eyes. How can life ever be the same again?

The there's me. A commoner, a passerby. I'm done with this year. I'm ready for a fresh start. I am throwing out everything I don't need and leaving behind what I regret, what troubles I had. But how can the widow? How can the childless? I can think positively but for these people, the wound will still be there on January 1st. There are so many families that have lost loved ones in 2011. It's important to keep them in our prayers and remember, instead of simply moving on with our lives.

I know, it's from the Muppets, but regardless, it's a sweet song.

The Reason

While Hollywood is full of people setting negative examples for our generation, Victoria Justice "shines" with talent and humility. In an interview, she talks about how she sees her example on young girls and how important it is to not fall into the typical crowd of drugs and dress as she gets older. She also thanks her parents and sister for picking up their lives and moving across the country so she could fulfill her dreams. Anyway, Victoria sang this on her Nickelodeon show, "Victorious" and I loved it! So here it is :)

The Help

*THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS*

One of my mom's Christmas gifts was "The Help" on dvd. We watched it this afternoon and it's my new favorite. There are so many different character perspectives, each one with it's own situation and reason. (I'm not great at reviews so bear with me please) The story is set in 1950's Alabama. The main character, Skeeter, returns home from college hoping to pursue journalism. She begs her mother to tell her why the maid she had grown up with wasn't around anymore. Skeeter's mother, who has cancer, chooses to focus on finding her a husband. She lands a job writing a dinky column about cleaning- something she knows nothing about. When Skeeter realizes the ladies club is pro-segregation, she tries to interview the maids and get their perspective on how they are treated by their employers. The white employers attend ladies clubs and parties, but neglect their children. When Skeeter finds out what really happened to the help that raised her, she writes a book about the truth of what the women have gone through. Another maid who is being abused by her husband,  finds friendship in a woman being rejected by the ladies club because they think she is a cheater. There are so many wonderful stories written into this plot, it's must-see!  My favorite quote is throughout the movie when the maid tells the young girl she is raising, "You is kind, you is smart, you is important"

My Christmas Current

Honestly, I wasn't excited for Christmas until the very last minute. Yesterday I went shopping with my oldest sister and bought something special for everyone in my family. I wanted to find something that stood out for each person, and I think I accomplished just that. (I also tried very hard to shop on a budget which started out great but I'm still proud of myself!) People were insanely rude on the road too which had me gripping to the side of the car and shutting my eyes the whole time. Today was a lazy day. My mom wanted me to go out shopping with her, but I was so worn and the thought of going out again and on the day before Christmas wasn't that appealing. (Plus she was going to leave at 6 AM-this girl doesn't function until 8) Anyway, today was a lazy day. By noon I'd watched enough teen mom reruns that I could take and I played Mario Party 6 with my sister. Then I wrapped and wrapped and wrapped presents. My Dad was dissapointed I didn't go to church tonight for the Christmas Program. I stayed home and helped my mom bake which was so nice to just have some time with just her for a change.

I live in dreamland often. I think about when I'll get my chance to bring someone special home for Christmas. I dream about when i can buy my own kids gifts and read them the stories of the Nativity and see thier faces light up on Christmas. Right now I feel stuck between kid and adult. Although I am an adult, I still feel like a kid at home, but now I know realities. I see greediness, I see poverty, I see emptiness. Christmas isn't the same as when I was a child. But I'm praying it'll still be just as special and important to me and us tomorrow, and all year round.

Lava Lamp Love

I'm not really crafty. At all. I can't even wrap presents nicely. But after stumbling on pinterest and seeing really cool homemade glitter globes, I decided to try to make one for myself-AND IT WORKED! It was really awesome and I'm def. using it in the future. This picture has terrible quality but it's a fun experiment. Here's the website I used to make it: http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Lava-Lamp-with-Household-Ingredients

The television I grew up with

I've been at home in between semesters and have had time for WAY too much tv lately. If I get up early enough, I catch the Magic School Bus. (Which I could still watch and laugh at!) I've been thinking about which videos from my elementary days I would show my own classroom. My top favorites are Bill Nye, The Magic School Bus, and the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving episode.

Anyway, my mom comes in the room, and I go, "Mom! Dolly Parton did a voice over on this episode! (It's the holiday recycling episode where Wanda recycles her toy nutcracker and the kids make a new bus) We get into a conversation about how Dolly's character shows a little too much (if you know what I mean) and even though it's  not right for tv, I never cared when I was 5. I got the real meaning of the episode (i.e. recycling and reusing.) And as much as it irks me, (and maybe it's just me), tv was so much more exciting. Now it seems that it's either all about fun or all about learning. (Although I'm looking for some shows that have both) I used to watch Zoom and make crafts and play the word games. But I look back at some of my favorites shows and go, "WHAT?" Last night I dreamed I met a man who had his head chopped off and they replaced it with a dog's head. Exactly like the labs in trench coats on Sesame Street that I haven't seen for 15 years! Even now they kind of creep me out just a little bit. A few days ago, my cousin and I went back into our past and put in a VHS copy of Puff the Magic Dragon. (Good lesson, but a little weird) Although I'm still singing "Weave Me the Sunshine". My cousin who is 6, laughed at the sneezes on Honalea.

Okay end rant. I guess I just miss being a kid, and it's that media issue again.

Loi Kratong

There are places and events that I read about that seem very exciting, beautiful, and breathtaking. One of these is the Loi Kratong, or The Festival of Lights. In Thailand, Buddhists celebrate this holiday by sending lotus shaped lanterns onto the water or into the sky. The lotus flower allows water to drip off of it, symbolizing that sins can fall onto our bodies, but if we live peacefully, the sins do not stay and they fall off. The lanterns are sent into the water and symbolize bad luck leaving. So beautiful!

Burlap

What is that? I'm sure you've heard of it. It's that ugly material they use to make carrying totes. It holds potatoes! It's plain, rough, and durable. Although the internet claims to have a few eco-friendly individuals who choose to make burlap a fashion statement, it isn't becoming popular fast. Burlap was used often in Biblical times. When people were upset or ashamed, they dressed themselves in burlap an cried out to the Lord for forgiveness, mercy, and compassion. I was thinking about why this was the norm. Burlap is the basic material. It says, "I am rough on the outside, but this is who I am without any adornment or lavish materials. It is purely me and me alone who cries out to God." When I dreamed about moving to Romania, my dad had handed me a burlap dress and told me I would have to wear it. It was ugly and scratchy, but it was proff of a simple life. We don't need fancy items or clothes. We just need God.

The Coming Spring

Where do I begin to describe how insane and amazing this week has been?

Sunday:
I went to my college church for the last time in a long time. It was the Children's Christmas Program and the kids did an amazing job! I'm so proud to know them and watch them grow and learn. Then I went to work for the last time, scraping plates and loading the dishwasher. "So glad I don't have to do this anymore!" I told myself. I was stressing over finals, cleaning, packing, and studying. I didn't have any time for any of it and I was frantic to the extreme.

Monday:
I start cleaning my room and packing everything up. "I won't fit everything in the car and I'll have to leave this place I love." Then a miracle! I find money equivalent to half of my school bill in my desk drawer. Money I had all along, but still stressed over all semester. Money I had worked for this past summer. I tossed my mind back and forth wondering what I had to do now: save my money and still go home by giving up any notion that I would be staying?

Tuesday:
The hardest finals. "I didn't do well enough. I'm  a total failure. I don't deserve to stay and be blessed by such a great life that I've grown so accustomed to." I pack up all my belongings, even getting rid of a lot of stuff knowing I can't take it all home. And then, a second miracle, even bigger than the first. Someone was willing to help me out. All my financial worries were eliminated in less than 3 days. Now I can stay where I love and where I grow, where I can use my "God-gifts", where I can better myself to be a future teacher and be loved and give love to family and friends.

Wednesday:
Running around campus. Letting everyone know what happened. Getting home to sit and watch tv with my mom after a ten hour drive with so much taken off my shoulders. I can't even describe it!

Today: (Thursday)
I am ready to start new, I am ready to work hard on classes, relax with some good books and celebrate Christmas. I'm so thankful for all the people who prayed for me and supported me. I am truly and honestly amazed and greatful that I am surrounded by such Godly wisdom. I never saw how much I was truly loved until this semester when my trials were the hardest. When I doubted God, He still didn't abandon me.

For my Dad

Tomorrow is my Dad's birthday. I can't remember how old he is turning (Sorry Dad!) I thought I would write a little bit about him and how much he means to me. :)

Memories
When I was little, my dad was the bravest person I knew. He did things no one else I knew did. He carried big bags of Morton's salt to put on the sidewalk in the winter time. He would heat up the car before we all got in, and then he would scrape the ice off the windshield (all four sides) while we waited inside. My Dad drove me to the hospital to get the glass out of my foot,  and he made me laugh the whole way there. He would stop and buy gatorade to bring home for whatever family member was sick from church. My Dad is also a terrific piano player and he loves to sing to Jesus. When he's at church he is always carrying his bible and some sort of music book, with a pen behind his ear. I would sit in church and my dad would see that I was bored, so he would sit me on his lap and make me bounce. I would also play with the pens in his pocket. (He can attest to losing many that way!)  He used to always wear suspenders and very distinctive cologne. He carried a briefcase (and later a beeper) and set it by the door where we would play with the combination, even though he warned us not to.

My Dad today

My Dad has always worked hard for us. He has given his life to working for his kids and his family. Now he is working hard at what he wants to do, and we're so proud of him. We don't always agree, but my Dad always looks for my best interest and I can talk to him and my mom about anything. Three years ago I thought I had lost him, but God allowed him to stay here with us. I enjoy his laughter, his jokes, and his playing. I love that he is always smiling, and that he loves me as his daughter. 

Happy birthday Dad! I love you! :) From Bright Eyes

Baby Faith, Baby Love

"But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins" All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel"- which means, "God with us". 

Matthew 1:20-23

When my presence was made known to your heart, you were a bit uneasy, but you were happy. You were changed. You kept me to yourself at first. But soon I grew bigger and stronger. I could hear you, I loved you and you loved me. The more I grew the bigger the love became. Sometimes we disagreed, but I still cared for you and you cared for me. Soon my presence was obvious to everyone in your life. You talked about me all the time. You talked to me and kept me close to your heart. You would never again be the same person you were, because of me. 

Much like a new birth, Jesus says, "anticipate me. Let me come into your heart and never let me go. Talk with me, cherish me. Your life will be changed and you will have peace. Share my presence with those around you.  " God can work with the smallest of faith and transform your life! 

I have had a lot on my mind lately. Finals are next week and the chance I may have to say goodbye to my home away from home is daunting. I hate that the one place where I feel happiest is where I have to leave. I'm really trying to seek God's plan for my life, but I am dreading the next few months. I know I will be coming back, but I am nervous about the future. The plan I have for my life is being screwed up and tossed around, but God's plan for my life is perfectly aligned. 

My campus has been through fire this semester. Death has become even more real to us as our main campus has lost 3 students, one alum, and 4 community members in the past year. Everywhere I go I hear of conflict between the students and it saddens my heart. Politics have overruled Christian morals for many students, but we will not lose our fight against Satan's attempts to shoot us down. I don't understand why there has been so much arguing concentrated in this time period. Why are we resorting to slandering each other, degrading each other, and telling crude jokes? We are not perfect humans and we never will be. But we need God so much right now. 

I just get so angry because I see people doing things that aren't right and I want to speak up. Often times I run it through in my head and then chicken out. Then I tell myself it's not a big deal and I should let people be people, no matter how much they annoy me. I wrote this as my status :

Where's the line between standing up for myself and just making a big deal out of nothing? I really hate to be one of the arguers that have plagued campus lately but when something makes me uncomfortable, I have to say something, right?" 

I received a great deal of positive answers. Some said it depended on the situation. As Christians, we are called to be different, set apart from the world. I never stood up for myself, and I've always blamed the introversion in me. But I wonder if I'm really doing the right thing by walking away.  

I've also been thinking about another issue that has affected our campus lately. I attend a private Christian university  that is focused on leading students in their life based on the teachings of the Bible and Jesus' love. We have many rules other colleges do not-because we are called to be set apart. Many people are upset because of our inability to view R-rated films and play M rated video games without approval of the school. Recently, it has been strengthened  by the restriction of PG-13 films. I really don't know what to think. Why have we chosen to make such an issue out of this? Movies can really affect us in both positive and negative ways. I can recall many films that have changed the way I see the world and have changed my thinking on certain issues. (Check out "Paradise Now".) There have also been movies that I wish I never would have seen because of how much garbage was involved. I'm a sucker for dramatic "chick-flicks". My favorites are Walk the Line, Where the Heart is, and A Walk to Remember" All three of these films display swearing and some form of sexual immorality. I believe it's a personal choice between each person what is right and what is wrong. Personally, I HATE cable television. It is so full of trash and sin that I chose not to have it in my dorm room. Yet, I am a  hypocrite, because I can tolerate a few words and some bed lying because it's romantic. But it's all a false expectation. I fall into emotional impurity the more I see these films and tell myself "It's just a movie". What would happen if our students started loving each other more? What if they put away their video games and their movies and started soaking in God's truth? 

 Trailer for "Paradise Now"

God, calm our hearts. Give us an attitude of worship for you. Help us to love our brothers and sisters who disagree with us, and to not reject those who are not of our faith. Bring us together in love, and help us not to be divided by evil. Bring the joy of living in You to the surface as we face rough times. 

Recently I was given a copy of The One Year Bible in NLT version. It has changed me so much in just the past week! Everyday I take a different part of the Bible in small pieces. I had been seeking a way to have quiet time with God each day, but it always felt overwhelming and frustrating. If you're like me, you have tried too many times to read the KJV front to back and get stuck somewhere in Numbers or Deuteronomy where the chronologies are listed. My daily quiet time with God has been my favorite time of the day. It is perfect for winding down, or getting up with the sun on Saturdays. 

http://www.amazon.com/God-Sightings-Year-Bible-Nltse/dp/1414334427/ref=sr_1_11?ie=UTF8&qid=1323315448&sr=8-11

So, I've also been thinking about adoption a lot lately. God has really laid this on my heart as a great social injustice. I want Him to show me where to go, what to do, and how to do His works. Patience is definitely needed, because instead of schoolwork, all I want to do is read up on my interests and passions. 

Also, materialism has come back to thought, seeing as how it's Holiday time again. I just hate having stuff! Like it bugs me how much I keep, and how much I really hate dragging it back and forth from home to school.  On another note, Black Friday was insane! Why do people push and shove for something that won't last forever? This Christmas I gave my Mom a simple list. I want red nail polish, some mascara and eye liner, a back scratcher, and a bag of sweet and sour twizzlers. I also read on a friend's status that to keep Christmas shopping simple for her kids, there are four things you should buy:

1) Something they want

2) Something they need

3) Something they can wear

4) Something to read

What a creative way to help Jesus be our reason for the season instead of what we get or don't get. 

Cherished

Cherished 

My sisters

You are beautiful

The world puts your beauty in a man's hands

You wonder what is wrong

"You're not pretty, beautiful, worthy of love"

Lies of torture

God created you sacred

Set apart

Wanted

Loved

Cherished

The One who wants to hold you

The One who longs for your voice

Let Him hold you

Give Him emotion

Your worth to Him is immense

Cherished

Psalm 147

"... He heals up the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He counts the number of the stars and calls them all by name ...His understanding is infinite."

Just an awesome poem that speaks so much truth. 

Great Minds Don't Think Alike

I'm thankful for people. Today I have had a complete pinterest obsession, finding awesome ideas for my future classroom. I'm blown away at the creativity many people have and their willingness to share their ideas. I also went to Google and searched teacher blogs which are cool because I get to see what teachers around the country are doing, what's working, and what issues come up. I just want to skip college and get into teaching! I'm also thankful for my cousins. We are really close. I have 15 on my dad's side and we're all really close. They are always making me laugh or letting me confide in them when girl time is needed. I couldn't decide which photo was my favorite, so I'll post them all.


The famous Cousin table!


Sweetest and newest little one. :)




Goofin off in the truck bed (not hillbillies, I promise!)







I'm thankful for people. :D

My Christmas Not-List

Now's the time when some people break out the Christmas music. Personally, I get so much of it between Thanksgiving and Christmas it's the only time I listen to it and it's the only time I'm ever in the mood for it. It's also the time when I start organizing what I would like for Christmas. Well, I'm a big boring adult now and anything I put on my list is usually pretty pricey. Usually I get pretty excited still about what I'll get, only to realize hours after all the presents are opened, that I still feel the same amount of emptiness I did before, no matter if I get what I wanted or not. (Without being brag-tastic here), I have tried hard to live a life of simplicity. Material things are not important to me anymore. I still tell myself that it would be pretty stinkin' awesome if I had one of these on my hand:

It would also be completely wonderful if I had a lot more money. But money dissapears faster than popping bubbles, and eventually that Nook is going to break and be of no use to me. So, this Christmas, my simple prayer is that I (and others) would be able to cherish what we have, erase greed from our minds, and have the  joy of Christ's birth in our hearts and heads. :)

The Hardest Questions and the most Honest Answers

It's been a rough time in my life lately. The past 3 months have been filled with sadness, worry, tears and dissapointment. I've often asked God, "Where are you?", but I see him. I see Him in my friends -who are willing to  pray for me and reach out to me, even in the simplest of ways. They see what I don't ask for. Things like, an umbrella, lotion, food, encouraging cards in my mailbox. I see the way He answers even my simplest prayers like finding out where I put those much needed hairbands. This all may sound trivial, but to me, it shows He cares about the little things in my life as well as the not so little. It teaches me that I need to take one day at a time and pray without ceasing. 

In sociology we were watching clips about poverty. My professor was talking about the fact that we push the statement, "It's their fault for messing up and putting themselves in poverty". I'm very torn on this subject for several reasons. While I agree that I should be independent from government assistance to survive (ie food, housing, clothing) the government has allowed me over others to attend university. I have said that I am poor, but now I feel as if I really can't say it that way anymore. I have opportunities that a lot of people do not have. (i.e. health care, housing, education) I was under the assumption that anyone could make a life for themselves if they went to college and worked their way out of poverty. Here's another catcher though: People make mistakes. I could easily be that person on the street someday. Does that mean as Christians we tell them to work hard and forget about them? And what about the children who have no choice to be poor? Because the truth is that we can sit around and point fingers all we want to, but poverty will still be an issue in this country, and around the world. But what can we do?

How do we speak (Christian) truth without being pushy and arrogant? How do I tell people I love they are making bad decisions without being critical? If we don't agree with someone, why can't we just say that we don't agree instead of arguing about it? I was very inspired by chapel yesterday. I'm not even sure where they found the guy giving his testimony, but I was inspired because he essentially gave up his whole life- his Jewish family, his financial stability, to come learn and share Jesus. He said to be crazy for God! So, I couldn't find the music video for the song, so it's a video done by a church's children's ministry, but we sing it for our kid's program. 

*A witty and enjoying title about enjoying life goes here*

Since my last post, I have worn socks, sneakers, basically anything that did not show off that wonderful set of orange toes I posted on here. So when I was walking into church today in my denim skirt and open toed sandals, I looked down and went, "Orange? What was I thinking???" Life lesson: Sometimes a good idea or intention can be good, for awhile. (Although I really hard a hard time thinking about that in the past few hours)

Happy birthday to my friend Jeremy who turns the *old* age of 26 today. :P This guy should have a great birthday-he has been a really great listener and Christian friend to me in the past few months. (And wink wink ladies-he's single...)

Tonight I got to catch up with my uncle, aunt and cousin on another taco bell family outing. They are having another little baby (yay!) My uncle teased me about school and whether I had a boyfriend. He started listing off names such as Bobby, Jack, James, etc and my eight year old cousin shouts, "JANET!!!" and everyone cracks up. I have missed her cuteness.

I'm reading this book about the couple who delivered the baby that wasn't theirs due to a medical mistake. It's an interesting read.

I've also been trying to beat my wii tennis score since my mom found the disc again. I'm afraid I'm stuck at level 530...for now. :P

I'm praying about college finances (it's expensive you know) and that I can keep up on my Bible reading.

Living Life :D

Rejoice in the little things in life. :)

 Painting my nails. Yes, these are my feet and yes, organge is the random color of choice. Random!

 Reading (the left is highly amazing!!!)

My favorite passage.

And oh yes. I found this on Stumbleupon I guess it's from South Korea.(?) I'm blown away!-inspiration for the future? At least for the kids section. So cool!!!

Mother's Day Tribute

I have no idea what to title this update. My life is so crazy-in both good and strange ways. Today is Mother's Day so we went to church and took my mom out to eat at Olive Garden. (So yummy!) My sister got the last piece of raspberry cheesecake after I had been talking about it the whole time we were there! O_o But the moose tie cake wasn't bad.(Skip this part is you don't want sad slash sappy) I've also made it sort of a tradition to visit my grandmother's gravesite and place a flower or two in her memory. I was thrown because my Dad and brother kept making jokes but then my mom pointed out that she would be laughing right along with us. I can't believe I didn't think of that, because I know she's right. There are things I don't remember about her that I wish I could. I can't remember what her laugh sounds like-just that she loved to laugh and she did it a lot. She also loved-all of us-more than I can even describe. I wish I could have had all four grandparents love me the way she did. I wish she was still here with us, so that I can talk to her as an adult and have real conversation. I wish she was still here to teach me things because I know she would have. But then I also think that she has been with Jesus for almost ten years and that neither one of them would want me getting angry over a few jokes or living in a constant life of regret. I appreciate my mom so much, even more now that I lost my grandma earlier than I should have. I am so blessed to have my grandma for eleven beautiful years. I am also very blessed to have both my parents and my three siblings, as well as aunts, uncles and cousins and friends who genuinely want my best interest. Happy mother's day. May your heart be filled with the light of Jesus's love to anyone you meet. :)

I want to be a writer again. But I never know exactly what to say or how to say what I'm thinking. That's why I gave up my dream of writing years ago. I could never come up with any good endings to stories. But I do have a lot to say, as long as my words aren't useless talk. Anyway, my head is all over the place lately. I just got home from college. I'm really missing my friends. I've gotten to spend great time with my parents. I even met someone from my junior high years in a christian bookstore today and it's amazing that we would meet there six years later. Also, I've been reading Mary Beth Chapman's new book Choosing to SEE  and it makes me want to get more involved with anything pro-adoption. (And yes! I got books in the library about Lithuania AND Estonia!) God is giving me peace about my school finances. So all in all, life is okay at this moment. :)

Way to build confidence?

Maybe I'm just making too big a deal out of this. Some people might say that it doesn't matter as long as kids are reading, but here goes. So, I'm sitting in the elementary school lobby and I see a poster in the window for the book fair. I take a closer look and three out of the four books advertised have "down grading" titles. "Loser list" and "Diary of a Wimpy Kid". I get that these characters are trying to portray real school life, but couldn't the fair have picked a few more different titles for a variety of books? (Yes, I have read Diary of a Wimpy Kid and it's actually really funny- although I don't always agree with the Wimpy Kid's actions 100% of the time, but that's a different subject to argue.) I just have to wonder if schools and authors really want to eliminate bullying and build self confidence, if this is the best way to be getting kids to read.

I've Been Thinking...

So, I had this idea in chapel today. We were singing a song that had used the lyrics to "He's got the whole world in His hands". So, it inspired me to write during chapel the beginnings of a story. It's from the perpective of God looking at a child in need. A woman comes to her and helps her and the child slowly begins to see love through her. I'm not sure if I want this woman to be a missionary or just anyone or where I want this child to be located or even how the story ends. I'm not even sure if any of that matters. But if I feel inspired, I'll keep working on it more. :)

Courage

Today my heart is just a little heavy over something that happened today (It wasn't as major as I might make it seem) I can't go into detail about what happened, but I was thinking about how children today are pushed into circumstances where they must chose to be very brave. Thinking back to my own childhood (and even some instances as a college student) I would freak out!- over frustration, nervousness, uncertainty. It is both a good thing as well as a bad one. They develop bravery (if it is that at all, maybe coping is a better term) but on the other hand, they develop a hard skin, one that can only be penetratable by genuine love, concern, and trust. Maybe I was just thrown off and what I experienced today isn't typical, but it did impress.

Spark, boom, change!

He's done it again. How can I describe just how thirsty I am for knowledge? The main theme in these past few weeks (maybe even years) has been that God is showing me something new to learn everyday. It can be about something small, or it can be something major. This week is missions week and in the mallway there is a table set up for study abroad programs in Lithuania. *spark* I'm supposed to be learning about Romania right? Maybe, but I'm keeping my mind open. I really want to read more about this country (don't ask me why it sounds more interesting than any other) However, just like the lack of books on Romania, there seems to be a lack of books on Lithuania. Ironic or not? The good news is that even though I didn't find a book on Lithuania in the school library, I found one on Estonia. (Close, right? Maybe? Not really?) I just want to read all day but I have so much homework to do!!!! Currently the other books I'm reading are:
Life Principles for the Graduate (Charles Stanley)
Lies Young Women Believe (Dannah Gresh and Nancy Leigh DeMoss)
Why Pro-Life? (Randy Alcorn)

So, I guess the first step is to just go to the booth tonight and ask for some information...*Boom*

Poverty Meal

This week is Missions week at my school. My roommate and I attended "Poverty meal" instead of going to our usual dinner. Instead of having a choice of several items to choose from, we simply had 1 bowl of porridge. As I'm sitting in the sectioned off area of the cafe I couldn't help but look around. There were students everywhere- many laughing, with huge trays filled with food. That was a new perpective for sure. I get up to the pot and fill up my bowl (which was a little bigger than my fists) with one ladel full. It wasn't so bad. It was grainy, but tasted a lot like potatoes. The more I ate though, the more I was impacted. Sure, one bite is okay, but after awhile it gets pretty boring and it makes your throat sore. What did I do? I got a glass of water. That helped a lot. But it got me really thinking. People eat this same dry mush everyday with no water. Others eat nothing at all. What really aches is that 10 million children go hungry in the US alone and that a child dies every 7 seconds from malnourishment. In an unfair world, it's easy to forget to pray for our brothers and sisters and our children. But let's remember and be thankful for the unlimited supply of nourishment we have within our reach.

Where to begin? Recently I've been experiencing a great time of change in a very exciting way. Last week I made it "official"- I'm studying Elementary Education with a psychology minor. My professor helped me see that my dreams of working in Romania and with orphans isn't just a side note that God is calling me to- it is a passion I can go for right here where I'm sitting. The schools around here are full of children who are hurting and broken. God is giving me opportunities. (I'd like a better word than that though...) Another one of my professors pointed out the harsh realities of a teacher's job. I wonder if I can really be a great teacher. At the same time, I know God has given me this love for learning and inspiring and loving. I've also stumbled upon an interesting book that is helping me know more about the cruelties of communism of Southern Europe in the mid 1900's. I still will never have all the answers if I ask "why?", so I will pray for the "when?" and "how to" in my life.