Now's the time when some people break out the Christmas music. Personally, I get so much of it between Thanksgiving and Christmas it's the only time I listen to it and it's the only time I'm ever in the mood for it. It's also the time when I start organizing what I would like for Christmas. Well, I'm a big boring adult now and anything I put on my list is usually pretty pricey. Usually I get pretty excited still about what I'll get, only to realize hours after all the presents are opened, that I still feel the same amount of emptiness I did before, no matter if I get what I wanted or not. (Without being brag-tastic here), I have tried hard to live a life of simplicity. Material things are not important to me anymore. I still tell myself that it would be pretty stinkin' awesome if I had one of these on my hand:
It would also be completely wonderful if I had a lot more money. But money dissapears faster than popping bubbles, and eventually that Nook is going to break and be of no use to me. So, this Christmas, my simple prayer is that I (and others) would be able to cherish what we have, erase greed from our minds, and have the joy of Christ's birth in our hearts and heads. :)
It's been a rough time in my life lately. The past 3 months have been filled with sadness, worry, tears and dissapointment. I've often asked God, "Where are you?", but I see him. I see Him in my friends -who are willing to pray for me and reach out to me, even in the simplest of ways. They see what I don't ask for. Things like, an umbrella, lotion, food, encouraging cards in my mailbox. I see the way He answers even my simplest prayers like finding out where I put those much needed hairbands. This all may sound trivial, but to me, it shows He cares about the little things in my life as well as the not so little. It teaches me that I need to take one day at a time and pray without ceasing.
In sociology we were watching clips about poverty. My professor was talking about the fact that we push the statement, "It's their fault for messing up and putting themselves in poverty". I'm very torn on this subject for several reasons. While I agree that I should be independent from government assistance to survive (ie food, housing, clothing) the government has allowed me over others to attend university. I have said that I am poor, but now I feel as if I really can't say it that way anymore. I have opportunities that a lot of people do not have. (i.e. health care, housing, education) I was under the assumption that anyone could make a life for themselves if they went to college and worked their way out of poverty. Here's another catcher though: People make mistakes. I could easily be that person on the street someday. Does that mean as Christians we tell them to work hard and forget about them? And what about the children who have no choice to be poor? Because the truth is that we can sit around and point fingers all we want to, but poverty will still be an issue in this country, and around the world. But what can we do?
How do we speak (Christian) truth without being pushy and arrogant? How do I tell people I love they are making bad decisions without being critical? If we don't agree with someone, why can't we just say that we don't agree instead of arguing about it? I was very inspired by chapel yesterday. I'm not even sure where they found the guy giving his testimony, but I was inspired because he essentially gave up his whole life- his Jewish family, his financial stability, to come learn and share Jesus. He said to be crazy for God! So, I couldn't find the music video for the song, so it's a video done by a church's children's ministry, but we sing it for our kid's program.
Since my last post, I have worn socks, sneakers, basically anything that did not show off that wonderful set of orange toes I posted on here. So when I was walking into church today in my denim skirt and open toed sandals, I looked down and went, "Orange? What was I thinking???" Life lesson: Sometimes a good idea or intention can be good, for awhile. (Although I really hard a hard time thinking about that in the past few hours)
Happy birthday to my friend Jeremy who turns the *old* age of 26 today. :P This guy should have a great birthday-he has been a really great listener and Christian friend to me in the past few months. (And wink wink ladies-he's single...)
Tonight I got to catch up with my uncle, aunt and cousin on another taco bell family outing. They are having another little baby (yay!) My uncle teased me about school and whether I had a boyfriend. He started listing off names such as Bobby, Jack, James, etc and my eight year old cousin shouts, "JANET!!!" and everyone cracks up. I have missed her cuteness.
I'm reading this book about the couple who delivered the baby that wasn't theirs due to a medical mistake. It's an interesting read.
I've also been trying to beat my wii tennis score since my mom found the disc again. I'm afraid I'm stuck at level 530...for now. :P
I'm praying about college finances (it's expensive you know) and that I can keep up on my Bible reading.
Painting my nails. Yes, these are my feet and yes, organge is the random color of choice. Random!
Reading (the left is highly amazing!!!)
My favorite passage.
And oh yes. I found this on Stumbleupon I guess it's from South Korea.(?) I'm blown away!-inspiration for the future? At least for the kids section. So cool!!!
I have no idea what to title this update. My life is so crazy-in both good and strange ways. Today is Mother's Day so we went to church and took my mom out to eat at Olive Garden. (So yummy!) My sister got the last piece of raspberry cheesecake after I had been talking about it the whole time we were there! O_o But the moose tie cake wasn't bad.(Skip this part is you don't want sad slash sappy) I've also made it sort of a tradition to visit my grandmother's gravesite and place a flower or two in her memory. I was thrown because my Dad and brother kept making jokes but then my mom pointed out that she would be laughing right along with us. I can't believe I didn't think of that, because I know she's right. There are things I don't remember about her that I wish I could. I can't remember what her laugh sounds like-just that she loved to laugh and she did it a lot. She also loved-all of us-more than I can even describe. I wish I could have had all four grandparents love me the way she did. I wish she was still here with us, so that I can talk to her as an adult and have real conversation. I wish she was still here to teach me things because I know she would have. But then I also think that she has been with Jesus for almost ten years and that neither one of them would want me getting angry over a few jokes or living in a constant life of regret. I appreciate my mom so much, even more now that I lost my grandma earlier than I should have. I am so blessed to have my grandma for eleven beautiful years. I am also very blessed to have both my parents and my three siblings, as well as aunts, uncles and cousins and friends who genuinely want my best interest. Happy mother's day. May your heart be filled with the light of Jesus's love to anyone you meet. :)
Monday, May 2, 2011
I want to be a writer again. But I never know exactly what to say or how to say what I'm thinking. That's why I gave up my dream of writing years ago. I could never come up with any good endings to stories. But I do have a lot to say, as long as my words aren't useless talk. Anyway, my head is all over the place lately. I just got home from college. I'm really missing my friends. I've gotten to spend great time with my parents. I even met someone from my junior high years in a christian bookstore today and it's amazing that we would meet there six years later. Also, I've been reading Mary Beth Chapman's new book Choosing to SEE and it makes me want to get more involved with anything pro-adoption. (And yes! I got books in the library about Lithuania AND Estonia!) God is giving me peace about my school finances. So all in all, life is okay at this moment. :)
