My Christmas Current

Honestly, I wasn't excited for Christmas until the very last minute. Yesterday I went shopping with my oldest sister and bought something special for everyone in my family. I wanted to find something that stood out for each person, and I think I accomplished just that. (I also tried very hard to shop on a budget which started out great but I'm still proud of myself!) People were insanely rude on the road too which had me gripping to the side of the car and shutting my eyes the whole time. Today was a lazy day. My mom wanted me to go out shopping with her, but I was so worn and the thought of going out again and on the day before Christmas wasn't that appealing. (Plus she was going to leave at 6 AM-this girl doesn't function until 8) Anyway, today was a lazy day. By noon I'd watched enough teen mom reruns that I could take and I played Mario Party 6 with my sister. Then I wrapped and wrapped and wrapped presents. My Dad was dissapointed I didn't go to church tonight for the Christmas Program. I stayed home and helped my mom bake which was so nice to just have some time with just her for a change.

I live in dreamland often. I think about when I'll get my chance to bring someone special home for Christmas. I dream about when i can buy my own kids gifts and read them the stories of the Nativity and see thier faces light up on Christmas. Right now I feel stuck between kid and adult. Although I am an adult, I still feel like a kid at home, but now I know realities. I see greediness, I see poverty, I see emptiness. Christmas isn't the same as when I was a child. But I'm praying it'll still be just as special and important to me and us tomorrow, and all year round.

My Christmas Not-List

Now's the time when some people break out the Christmas music. Personally, I get so much of it between Thanksgiving and Christmas it's the only time I listen to it and it's the only time I'm ever in the mood for it. It's also the time when I start organizing what I would like for Christmas. Well, I'm a big boring adult now and anything I put on my list is usually pretty pricey. Usually I get pretty excited still about what I'll get, only to realize hours after all the presents are opened, that I still feel the same amount of emptiness I did before, no matter if I get what I wanted or not. (Without being brag-tastic here), I have tried hard to live a life of simplicity. Material things are not important to me anymore. I still tell myself that it would be pretty stinkin' awesome if I had one of these on my hand:

It would also be completely wonderful if I had a lot more money. But money dissapears faster than popping bubbles, and eventually that Nook is going to break and be of no use to me. So, this Christmas, my simple prayer is that I (and others) would be able to cherish what we have, erase greed from our minds, and have the  joy of Christ's birth in our hearts and heads. :)