I have had a lot on my mind lately. Finals are next week and the chance I may have to say goodbye to my home away from home is daunting. I hate that the one place where I feel happiest is where I have to leave. I'm really trying to seek God's plan for my life, but I am dreading the next few months. I know I will be coming back, but I am nervous about the future. The plan I have for my life is being screwed up and tossed around, but God's plan for my life is perfectly aligned.
My campus has been through fire this semester. Death has become even more real to us as our main campus has lost 3 students, one alum, and 4 community members in the past year. Everywhere I go I hear of conflict between the students and it saddens my heart. Politics have overruled Christian morals for many students, but we will not lose our fight against Satan's attempts to shoot us down. I don't understand why there has been so much arguing concentrated in this time period. Why are we resorting to slandering each other, degrading each other, and telling crude jokes? We are not perfect humans and we never will be. But we need God so much right now.
I just get so angry because I see people doing things that aren't right and I want to speak up. Often times I run it through in my head and then chicken out. Then I tell myself it's not a big deal and I should let people be people, no matter how much they annoy me. I wrote this as my status :
Where's the line between standing up for myself and just making a big deal out of nothing? I really hate to be one of the arguers that have plagued campus lately but when something makes me uncomfortable, I have to say something, right?"
I received a great deal of positive answers. Some said it depended on the situation. As Christians, we are called to be different, set apart from the world. I never stood up for myself, and I've always blamed the introversion in me. But I wonder if I'm really doing the right thing by walking away.
I've also been thinking about another issue that has affected our campus lately. I attend a private Christian university that is focused on leading students in their life based on the teachings of the Bible and Jesus' love. We have many rules other colleges do not-because we are called to be set apart. Many people are upset because of our inability to view R-rated films and play M rated video games without approval of the school. Recently, it has been strengthened by the restriction of PG-13 films. I really don't know what to think. Why have we chosen to make such an issue out of this? Movies can really affect us in both positive and negative ways. I can recall many films that have changed the way I see the world and have changed my thinking on certain issues. (Check out "Paradise Now".) There have also been movies that I wish I never would have seen because of how much garbage was involved. I'm a sucker for dramatic "chick-flicks". My favorites are Walk the Line, Where the Heart is, and A Walk to Remember" All three of these films display swearing and some form of sexual immorality. I believe it's a personal choice between each person what is right and what is wrong. Personally, I HATE cable television. It is so full of trash and sin that I chose not to have it in my dorm room. Yet, I am a hypocrite, because I can tolerate a few words and some bed lying because it's romantic. But it's all a false expectation. I fall into emotional impurity the more I see these films and tell myself "It's just a movie". What would happen if our students started loving each other more? What if they put away their video games and their movies and started soaking in God's truth?
God, calm our hearts. Give us an attitude of worship for you. Help us to love our brothers and sisters who disagree with us, and to not reject those who are not of our faith. Bring us together in love, and help us not to be divided by evil. Bring the joy of living in You to the surface as we face rough times.
Recently I was given a copy of The One Year Bible in NLT version. It has changed me so much in just the past week! Everyday I take a different part of the Bible in small pieces. I had been seeking a way to have quiet time with God each day, but it always felt overwhelming and frustrating. If you're like me, you have tried too many times to read the KJV front to back and get stuck somewhere in Numbers or Deuteronomy where the chronologies are listed. My daily quiet time with God has been my favorite time of the day. It is perfect for winding down, or getting up with the sun on Saturdays.
So, I've also been thinking about adoption a lot lately. God has really laid this on my heart as a great social injustice. I want Him to show me where to go, what to do, and how to do His works. Patience is definitely needed, because instead of schoolwork, all I want to do is read up on my interests and passions.
Also, materialism has come back to thought, seeing as how it's Holiday time again. I just hate having stuff! Like it bugs me how much I keep, and how much I really hate dragging it back and forth from home to school. On another note, Black Friday was insane! Why do people push and shove for something that won't last forever? This Christmas I gave my Mom a simple list. I want red nail polish, some mascara and eye liner, a back scratcher, and a bag of sweet and sour twizzlers. I also read on a friend's status that to keep Christmas shopping simple for her kids, there are four things you should buy:
1) Something they want
2) Something they need
3) Something they can wear
4) Something to read
What a creative way to help Jesus be our reason for the season instead of what we get or don't get.
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